


The Longest Time

by Daretodream66



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: A/B/O, Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha Winifred, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Sexual Assault, BAMF Natasha Romanov, BAMF Steve Rogers, Bad Parent Winifred Barnes, Beefy Bucky Barnes, Bucky is an asshole at the beginning, Christmas Fluff, Domestic Violence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Marriage, Mpreg, Omega George Barnes, Omega Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:42:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24984766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daretodream66/pseuds/Daretodream66
Summary: Omega Steve and Alpha Bucky don't like each other.  That's actually putting it mildly, they loath each other.  That's where the story starts.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 17
Kudos: 365





	The Longest Time

**Author's Note:**

> Bucky is a real grade A asshole at the beginning. He has a lot to learn and whether Steve likes it or not, he's going to be the one to teach Bucky a lesson or two. There's some mild descriptions of sexual assault, nothing graphic and there's violence in this. Most of it caused by Steve, but there is one scene that describes domestic abuse and that's between Winifred and George.
> 
> I wrote this yesterday because I wasn't inspired to write any of the other six works I have open right now. It's got mistakes, I tried to catch them, but I never get them all.

Steve hated the holiday retreats that are mandatory with Stark Industries. He’s got a week before the next one and it’s just not on his agenda for a good time. He started with Tony eight years ago and three years ago was promoted to Chief Creative Officer with a salary that was insane. Steve took the job seriously and put in more hours than most. As an omega and being smaller in stature, he felt like he had to prove himself daily. For the most part, he’s started to relax into the position and stopped trying to prove himself, until Barnes had started at the company. Barnes joined Tony’s Research and Design team. Tony was the first to use the term genius when referring to Barnes.

Steve didn’t usually take an instant dislike to people, but Barnes was a special case. The first time they’d met, Barnes had practically patted Steve on the head and called him a sweet, little omega. He didn’t even change his interaction when Pepper made it clear to Barnes what Steve’s role at the company was. Instead he’d said something that even Tony had to call him on, “So, he’s a charity case then.” Pepper had taken immediate affront to the comment and had Tony talk to the new man.

Steve did his best to just avoid Barnes and since their departments didn’t interact very often, it wasn’t that difficult. The two times that Steve had to come in and be versed in something the R&D department was doing, Barnes had treated him like an idiot. He’s grinned at Steve and asked, “Do I need to break that down in small words so you can understand?” Needless to say, when Barnes was picking himself up off the floor because Steve had laid him out in one punch, the alpha was a little shocked. 

Very calmly, Steve had stepped on the alpha’s chest, causing Barnes to ‘oof,’ and made his way to the screen, Steve had thrown a comment over his shoulder about Barnes, “understanding his place in the hierarchy of the company.” Their second interaction wasn’t any better. Basically, all of Stark Industries knew not to have Rogers and Barnes in the same place at the same time. It was just better for everyone.

The other thing about Barnes that Steve didn’t like is that everyone from other alphas, to betas, to omegas were fair game in Barnes’s ‘who should I bed tonight’ game. It seemed that every time Steve went to the café downstairs, Barnes was there leaning into someone new, flirting relentlessly with whoever was close by. Steve didn’t date, had never dated because he didn’t want to veer from his career path. Okay, in the privacy of his own mind, Steve would admit there was more to it than that, but that was his business and no one else’s. It was hard as hell for a mated omega to get ahead in the workplace. It seemed that society still saw a mated omega as being a homemaker and Steve was not about that life.

Steve had no interest in being someone’s omega and wasn’t giving up his career even if he was, but so far, no one piqued his interest. Tony commented once that he thought Barnes was being such a jackass to Steve because he was actually interested. Steve had laughed and simply told his friend, “That isn’t something I’m interested in and most especially not with him.” It wasn’t even a cover because Steve truly didn’t like the man. Tony saw the honesty in Steve’s words, nodded and they kept working.

Steve could admit that Barnes was attractive. Okay, if he’s going to be completely honest the man was downright beautiful. He wore his hair long, to his shoulders, usually up in a messy bun, his cheekbones were crafted by the gods and his eyes were a thing to make an artist weep. And Steve didn’t even what to think about the man’s lips, but as with most things, when something beautiful has a horrible attitude, it becomes less attractive. That being the case, Barnes was a garbage scow. 

It’s the Friday before Christmas and Steve’s exhausted. He’s got a week before the retreat and he doesn’t want to deal with it this year. The last few months there’ve been nonstop projects and this year Steve really wants to just lay around his Brooklyn Brownstone and do nothing. He has Happy stop in at a grocer on the way home and as he makes his way around the shop, basket on his arm, he thinks about what he wants as a treat. Rounding the corner of the frozen dessert aisle, there’s a young omega with her back against the ice cream section and a large alpha towering over her.

“Hey!” The omega and alpha look over at him and the alpha sneers. “Get away from her!”

“Mind your own business, pipsqueak.” The thing about Steve being small is that he’s always underestimated.

Steve storms over, pulls the omega behind him, and squares off against the alpha. “Listen to me very carefully, you’re going to walk away and the next time you think you can pull your size and designation on an omega, I want you to remember two things.”

The alpha pushes out his chest trying to make himself even bigger. “Oh yeah, and what’s that bitch?”

Steve carefully hands his basket to the omega behind him and arches his neck, cracking the joints. Faster than the alpha can chuckle, Steve forces the palm of his hand into the alpha’s nose and a knee into the alpha’s crotch. He goes down with a pained yelp. Rolling onto his back, Steve places a knee on his sternum. Putting pressure and causing more pain, Steve gets real close. “Never touch another omega again without permission because I have more money than god and will hunt your sorry ass down, cut your dick off and feed it to you.” The alpha scrambles away on hands and knees.

Steve turns to see the omega looking at him like he’s the best thing she’s ever seen. At the end of the aisle stands the last person he wants to see. “Rogers?” The young omega turns to Barnes and runs to his side. He puts a protective arm around her. “Becs, what happened?”

“That guy wouldn’t take no for an answer and he,” She points at Steve, “saved me. He was amazing.”

Steve doesn’t know who this omega is for sure, but their features and coloring is enough to say siblings. Going over, he takes his basket from ‘Becs’ and heads away from whatever this might turn into. Before he can get too far, there’s a hand on his arm. Looking down at the hand, then up to the face it belongs to, he rips his bicep out of the grip. “Don’t ever touch me.” It’s said through gritted teeth.

“I just wanted to say thanks for helping my sister.” There’s a look on Barnes’s face that Steve never seen before, but it doesn’t matter. He’s no better than the alpha that just accosted his sister.

Steve looks over at ‘Becs’ and gives her a nod. “Never hesitate to go for the crotch. Trust me, it’s what alphas prize the most.” He glares up at Barnes and walks away. 

He’s only a few steps away when he hears ‘Becs’ ask, “Why does he hate you so much?” He doesn’t stick around to hear the reply and decides that dessert options aren’t what he needs, Steve needs alcohol.

Steve knows he’s small, at just slightly over 5’6 and just under 110 pounds, he’s a prize as an omega, but his mother was a single parent, full-time nurse, and an omega too. She made sure her son could take care of himself. He grew out of his many ailments and she put him in defense classes. Then something happened and what he was being taught in those classes didn’t work. When a new form of self-defense was talked about, Steve made sure his name was at the top of the signup sheet. Meeting Natasha Romanov was the best thing that ever happened to Steve. 

So, at almost 31, Steve could take down an alpha of any size without thinking about it. His mother and Natasha were the greatest women Steve had ever known. But more than that, his mother gave him one very important piece of advice. “You are your own person, Steven, and you never have to have a partner if you don’t want one. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. Alphas are out for themselves and in most cases they only see an omega as a prize. You’re no one’s prize.” It’s advice he’s lived his life by and it’s served him well.

Barnes watches as Happy pulls away from the curb with Rogers in the back seat. He’s never in his life seen an omega do what Steve just did in the store. He was taught that omegas are weak and will always cave to an alpha, but that’s not what he just saw. Turning to looks at Becca, who is watching the car just as intently, he feels guilty for putting her in that position. It’s one thing to believe everything his mother ever taught him, but it’s another when it’s his own sister. He loves Becca and respects that she’s her own person, but he’s never offered that same respect to any other omega. He chases them, catches them, but never beds them. He doesn’t want to get caught in the web his mom got caught in.

When they get home, Becca turns to her brother, lowering her eyes in submission. “Is there a way that I can thank him? Please?”

Something inside that alpha crumbles. His baby sister is cowering to him and for the first time since he was 13, Bucky feels himself sniffling. He may not like Rogers, but that display in the frozen food section was pretty kick ass. Pulling Becca into his chest, He strokes her hair in a way that he hasn’t done in a very long time. “I’ll find out where he lives.” She cautiously raises her eyes, smiling.

Their situation is further solidified to him when he reaches up to cup her cheek and she winces, just slightly, but it’s still there. Bucky lowers his hand and steps away. “Bucky?”

Going over to the back door, Bucky stares out at the darkness of the backyard. “When did you become afraid of me, Becca?”

Thinking she’s in trouble, he hears the shaking in her voice. “I-I’m n-not.” He turns back and sees that she’s visibly shaking.

Stepping over, he pulls her into a fierce hug. “You should never be afraid of me, baby sister. Never.” She starts to sob into his shirt and he knows that she is. “I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry. If you can’t trust me, who can you trust.”

She cries herself out and looks up at her brother. “It’s just what I was taught. You know that.”

Bucky kisses her forehead and the last 19 years of his life make sense. He had everything a kid could want or need and Becca had very little because their mother didn’t think she deserved anything. Bucky’s given Becca everything in the last year, but it doesn’t undo what was instilled in her by their alpha mother. “From now on, you never look down. You never show submission to anyone. If I ever try that alpha bullshit with you, you kick me in the nuts as hard as you can.” Looking down, he meets her eyes. “Is that clear? This house isn’t about designation anymore, it’s about family.”

Later, he tries to get Steve’s address from Happy, but the man won’t relent. Finally, he tells Bucky that if his sister wants to thank Steve, he’ll deliver something for her, but he won’t break protocol for anyone when it comes to Steve. Bucky thanks him and when Happy shows up the next morning at 6, Becca has the letter written and gives Happy some cash. “I don’t really know him or what he likes, but if you could maybe get him a coffee or something.”

Happy smiles kindly at her. “Of course. I know just the thing.” Bucky watches how Happy treats his sister and he’s so respectful and kind to her. He doesn’t like that he’s suddenly having to questioning everything his mother ever taught him.

Steve isn’t expecting his doorbell to ring the following morning at 7 AM. He shuffles to the front door, opening the inner set of doors and sees Happy at the outer set. Frowning, Steve goes to open them and finds Happy standing there with a coffee in his hand and a bag from the bakery down the street that happens to be Steve’s favorite. “Happy, do you know what time it is?”

The man gives a smirk. “I do, but I had strict orders about this.” He hands over the coffee and bag, then pulls an envelope out of his pocket. “I heard what happened last night, so I suggest you sit down before you read that.” The man is gone and Steve heads back inside and into the kitchen. Taking the lid off the coffee, he inhales the bitter, sweet smell. 

Opening the bag, he finds three pastries, all of them favorites from Mrs. G’s place. Pulling the Cheese Danish from the bag, he opens the letter attached. Looking at the bottom, he sees it’s from a Rebecca Barnes. Giving a heavy sigh, he speaks to no one. “Well, fuck.”

_Dear Mr. Rogers,_

_First, Mr. Hogan didn’t give me or my brother your address. He said he would make sure you got it, but wouldn’t break your privacy even if my brother works with you. Second, thank you for what you did last night. Most people would have just turned and walked away, leaving me to my own fate, but you didn’t. You defended me like a knight in shining armor and I can’t say thank you enough._

_I tried to talk to my brother about you, but all he would say is that you hate him and I’m betting I know why. See Mr. Rogers, my brother is an asshole. My dad left us when Bucky was 13 and he’s never forgiven him. Because of that, my mother, our alpha, didn’t have much respect for omegas, so you can imagine what my life was like. Because of her attitude, my brother’s is the same, but he does protect me._

_I shouldn’t bad-mouth my family, but it’s hard to figure out what’s right when someone that was supposed to love me told me I’m wrong. Bucky doesn’t, I mean, he tries to understand the workings of an omega, but he doesn’t get it. Anyway, he’s an asshole, but he’s trying, at least with me. Something tells me, from how you reacted to him, that he’s not anything but an asshole with you._

_I want you to know, you’re what I want to be like. I don’t want to be stereotyped, I want to be strong. Like you._

_Anyway, thank you for what you did,_

_Rebecca Barnes (but call me Becca)_

Steve wipes his eyes and reads it through again. It’s obvious that it’s written by someone young because the thoughts are all over the place, but he wants to help her. Another thing his mother taught him, never turn your back on someone that needs you. Becca needs him because her mother didn’t steer her in the right direction. Checking the time, he starts on the second pastry and calls Natasha.

She picks up on the second ring and Steve hears music in the background, so she’s been up for awhile. “Rogers, what can I do for you?”

“I have a special assignment for you. You game?” He can hear the grin in her next words.

“Point me in the right direction and get outta the way.”

James “Bucky” Barnes is the epitome of alpha. He’s thick and nothing but muscles. He’s gorgeous and he knows it because he’s got eyes. His mother raised him to be the very definition of alpha, but now he’s not sure if she was right. As he watched Steve Rogers beat down an alpha twice his size in defense of a girl he didn’t even know, he starts to wonder if his father was right. The night that George Barnes left the family, there had been a fight. Bucky’s parents fought a lot and always had, but after Becca was born it got worse.

On this particular night, they were fighting about Bucky because, at 13, Bucky had scented a young omega in gym class. George was screaming that omegas weren’t there for any alpha that wanted to take advantage and Winifred was yelling that alphas had the right to do as they pleased. George had come into Bucky’s room late in the night and woke him up. George had a black eye and swollen lip. The last thing that George said to his son was, “I want to come back for you, but she won’t let me. Alphas don’t have the right to treat other people as property and you’re going to have to protect your sister because your mother won’t do it. People are people and designation shouldn’t matter.” George had kissed his head and was gone. Months later, George filed for custody of both Bucky and Becca, but lost in court and he was never seen again. Last year, Winifred died in a car accident and Bucky took responsibility for Becca. Now he wonders if he’s really up for the challenge.

Sunday morning rolls around and Bucky still can’t get the vision of Steve Rogers, protecting his sister, out of his head. The doorbell rings and Bucky gets up to answer. Becca comes halfway down the stairs to see who it is. When Bucky opens the door, he’s met with a striking red head. She’s one of the most attractive omegas Bucky’s ever seen, old instincts kick in. She’s smirking at him like she knows the words that are going to come out of his mouth. Years of living up to his mother’s expectations can’t disappear overnight. “Well darlin, what can I do for you?”

The omega at the door, rolls her eyes and looks past Bucky, to Becca on the stairs. “I have nothing for you, but I do have something for her.” The red head pushes past Bucky like he’s not a wall of muscle and goes to Becca, offering her hand. “Becca?”

Becca takes her hand, unsure. “Yes? Do I know you?”

Bucky turns to watch the omega with his sister. “What is this about?”

The red head turns to look at Bucky. “I thought I told you I wasn’t here for you. The sooner you learn your place the better.” Bucky growls and goes to remove this woman from his home, but the minute he puts a hand on her, he’s on the floor and the red head has a knee at this throat. “Never…and I mean never, put a hand on someone without their permission.” She looks up at Becca. “A friend sent me to help you learn to defend yourself.”

Becca is grinning ear to ear. “Steve Rogers sent you, didn’t he?”

Natasha loves watching this girl smile. She looks down at Bucky. “You gonna behave yourself?” Bucky nods when she lifts her knee. “Yes, Steve did send me and we’re going to have four lessons a week for the first month, then adjust it from there.” She looks over at Barnes. “That going to be an issue with you?”

Steve Rogers sent this scary ass woman to his home to help Becca learn to take care of herself. Steve Rogers did this for his sister. Bucky rubs his neck. “No, I absolutely do not have a problem with this.”

Becca looks over, misty eyed. “Really?”

Bucky nods. “I want you to be able to get yourself out of situations like Friday night.” Becca throws herself into Bucky’s arms. “I’m sorry I wasn’t with you that night.”

Becca turns to the woman. “When do we start?” Natasha introduces herself and they clear a space in the living room.

Bucky watches his sister and Natasha for three hours, but his brain keeps going back to the fact that Steve Rogers, the man that hates him passionately, is doing this for a young girl that he doesn’t really know. All the smaller man knows is that she couldn’t defend herself and that was unacceptable. Bucky wonders what his life was like that Steve had to learn all of this. He wonders if Steve was ever in a situation like Becca was. He wonders if some alpha did something to Steve and that’s why he had to learn. The thought makes Bucky growl. He has to force down his alpha instincts _hard_ when Natasha looks over.

Pushing up out of the chair, he goes to the backyard, but the idea that someone forced themselves on Steve has his blood boiling. He doesn’t hear the light steps of Natasha, so he jumps when she reaches out. “Breathe Barnes. Whatever has you so worked up, just breathe through it.” His teeth are clinched and he’s seeing red. Goddamn he wishes that he didn’t fall back on alpha traits. 

“What happened to Steve?” Natasha is a smart woman and knows what he’s asking, but she sure as hell isn’t going to tell this man anything he doesn’t deserve to know. And from everything Steve told her, this guy doesn’t deserve much of anything. When she doesn’t answer, he looks over at her and she’s staring into space. That isn’t good. “It was bad?”

Natasha hums, but still doesn’t offer anything. Bucky wraps his head around that because her lack of an answer is more of an answer than words. She takes a deep breath and turns to the alpha. “You sister has good balance and is going to do well. I’ll be back on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday.” Bucky just keeps staring off into the yard. After a time, he goes in to fix some lunch.

Late that night, after listening to Becca excitedly talk about everything Natasha taught her and even using Bucky to beat up on, she goes off to bed, seeing that her brother is very proud of her, but also caught in his own head. Bucky sits in the dark, drinking a beer and turns his phone over and over in his hand. This is a bad idea, but he’s got to know. Scrolling through his contacts, he finds the number that he wants. It’s been a year since Bucky heard that voice and 18 before that. It rings four times before a sleepy voice answers, “‘ello?”

“George…Dad, you got a minute?” There’s fumbling on the other end and Bucky’s pretty sure the man dropped his phone.

“Jam…Bucky, is that you?” Bucky can hear the tears in his father’s voice.

“Yeah, it’s me. Think we could talk for a minute?” For the second time in two days, Bucky feels tears gathering in his eyes.

“Son, we can talk anytime and for as long as you want.” There’s a mumble on the other end and George responds to the voice. “It’s my son, James, he needs to talk. Go back to sleep, Charlie. I’ll be to bed later.” Another set of mumbled words. “I love you too, sweetheart.” Bucky has known where George Barnes-Stillman lives and even where he works. Bucky knows about Charlie Stillman, who married his father three years after George left Winnie. Bucky knows that George hyphenated his last name so that he could always be connected to his children. Bucky knows that he has a little half-brother, William, from his father’s new marriage. What Bucky doesn’t know is if these feelings he’s having are normal and for the first time, Bucky knows that he wouldn’t get the answers he wants from his mother if she were still here.

“Pop, I think I need some advice and I also think I got some wrong information.” Bucky leans forward resting elbows on his knees, dragging a hand down his face. He doesn’t see Becca sitting on the stairs listening to her brother talk to their father. He doesn’t see her let the tears flow because she’s missed having her father around.

“Well Bucky I’ll help you if I can. Tell me what’s bothering you.”

“I think mom might have given me some bad advice.” George laughs, but it’s a humorless thing that sends chills down Bucky’s spine. “There’s this omega…he’s not like anything I’ve ever seen. He kicked my ass and then kicked another alphas ass when Becca was in danger.”

“Is Becca okay?” Just that question alone makes Bucky sure that calling his dad was the right decision. That wouldn’t have been his mother’s first question.

“Yeah, she’s good. In fact, this omega sent a self-defense expert to train Becca so she can take care of herself.” Bucky sits back in the chair and puts the beer bottle on the ground next to the chair.

“This omega sound pretty special. So, what’s the problem?”

Bucky chuckles. “He hates me…so much.”

“Well son, it sounds to me like you have your work cut out for you.” The laugh from his father this time is humor.

“What does that mean?” Bucky’s not sure what his father is getting at.

“Bucky are you really this thick-headed?” Bucky huffs because this doesn’t make sense. “Son, you’re attracted to him because he’s strong and you can’t reconcile that with what your mother taught you about omegas. You have this idea that just because you’re an alpha, you get to have what you want. You come across someone that doesn’t need you or your alpha attitude and you have no idea what to do with that.”

Bucky is _not_ attracted to Steve Rogers! That’s just crazy talk. “Dad, I think you’re misinterpreting this situation. I’m not attracted to this guy. He’s a royal pain in my ass. I’m just trying to figure out how to thank him properly and he won’t accept my thanks because we hate each other!”

“Bucky, what color are his eyes?”

That is a weird ass question for his dad to ask, but he’ll play along to see where this goes. “They’re this cornflower blue, but there’s also this little hint of green at the edges. Why?”

“And what does he smell like?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t scented him.” Bucky’s world comes crashing down because he hasn’t scented Steve. He’s scented just about everyone he comes in contact with because it’s his right as an alpha, but he’s never done that with Steve. Not even when they first met. “Oh…oh shit…”

“Yes, my dear, sweet, boy, you have a crush and that’s why it’s so important for you to get him to accept your thanks. The problem is, you’ve probably made an ass of yourself already. You’ve got a lot of work ahead of you. Whatever you do, it’s going to have to be something you’d never think to do. Forget everything your mother ever taught you.”

“How did Charlie get you to accept his advances?” Charlie and George have been married for longer than George and Winnie were together and they love each other. Like really love each other. Sue him, Bucky’s kept tabs.

“Well first of all, he didn’t make advances. He showed me he was interested and then he treated me like a person. Designation had nothing to do with it, I was a person first. Bucky you have to stop thinking like an alpha and start thinking like a decent human.”

Bucky sighs and listens to his father talk to him about the progression of his relationship with Charlie. They talk until late into the night and by the time Bucky goes to bed, he has to rethink everything he’s ever been told. Monday he throws himself into work, but always in the back of his mind he thinks about everything his dad said. At lunch, he tells his team that he’s taking a long lunch and hits every specialty shop within a five block radius of the Tower. The last thing he picks up is from an art store.

Steve arrives at work earlier than normal on Tuesday. He spoke to Natasha last night and is glad to hear that Becca is taking to the lessons. She’ll be okay in Natasha’s hands. When he gets to his floor, he’s met with Darcy nearly bouncing out of her shoes. “It is too early for you to be this awake, Darce.”

She links her arm through his and practically drags him down the hall to his office. “You have some ‘plaining to do, Lucy.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” But when he enters his office, he sees the issue. “What the ever loving fuck is this?”

There isn’t a nook or cranny in his office that isn’t covered by some kind of flower or gift. “You wanna tell me what alpha is out there pining this hard over you?” Steve turns to glare at Darcy. “Look around you, Steve, this is an alpha declaring, in no uncertain terms, that they are courting the hell out of you.”

Steve presses the palms of his hands against his eyes and hopes that when he moves them, this will all be gone. It doesn’t work. “Shit…”

“Wait, do you really have no idea who this is all from?” Steve looks at Darcy and she’s grinning. “So, there’s an alpha out there, that obviously wants,” She looks around the office, “by the looks of this, to worship you for the rest of his life and you don’t know who that might be?”

Happy walks in to give Steve a heads up that Pepper is coming and sees the office. He whistles. “Jesus, this is…holy hell, Rogers.” Pepper comes through the door and freezes.

Her eyes get huge. “What! Did! I! Miss!” She walks around the office, looking at all the flowers and gifts. “Steve, you…what is…when…”

Steve looks over at her as he leans on the window sill. “Do that for a little while longer and you’ll catch up with where I am.” He walks over to his desk, looking at his calendar. “I can’t have my 9 o’clock in here. Darcy see if Conference A is open, if it’s not, find someplace that is.” Dragging his hands down his face, Steve looks at the chaos of his office. “What the fuck am I going to do? I don’t even know who’s done this.” No one, not an alpha, or beta, has ever done anything like this mostly because Steve would never let anything get this far. He keeps to himself and doesn’t date because of this shit right here. “Start handing this stuff out to everyone. I don’t want it here.”

Pepper comes over, placing a hand on his arm. “You sure you don’t want anything?” If an alpha made this display of affection and Steve gives everything away, it’s a clear message that the omega isn’t interested.

“Not a damn thing, Pepper.” Everyone leaves and Steve walks around the office, looking through everything. Curiosity gets the better of him and he opens the box in the middle of his desk. Inside is the most beautiful leather bound sketch journal that he’s ever seen with really expensive pencils. Not letting himself think too much about it, he slips the box into his desk. Then he takes it out and puts it back on his desk. Walking around the desk and looking at everything else, he decides that no one will notice, so he puts the box back in his desk. 

Darcy comes back in and starts taking things away to add to the desks of everyone in the department. She doesn’t miss that the box from the desk isn’t there anymore. She gracefully doesn’t say anything, but makes a mental note of the information and can’t help the little smile that plays across her face.

Later that afternoon, as she finishes up the scheduling for after the holiday’s, she gets an email. It’s from a blocked account, but she knows it’s cleared their security. Opening it, she smiles.

_Did he keep anything?_

She hits reply quickly with a giddy feeling. Whoever this is, they work in the building or their email wouldn’t have gotten through. The box on the desk had been purposely placed and she opened it to make sure it’s wasn’t inappropriate or dangerous.

_He kept the sketch journal and pencils. Hang in there._

Steve slips the journal and pencils into his briefcase and leaves that night at 8. He doesn’t have to be back until after the holidays and after that damned retreat for the New Year. He orders dinner for delivery and gets comfortable. Sitting in the living room, he pulls out the journal and pencils and starts sketching the room around him. The doorbell rings and he gets up to get his food. He freezes when he sees that not only is it his food, but it’s Barnes too. Barnes is paying the delivery guy and taking the food. Steve throws open the door. “How the hell did you get my address?”

Barnes looks like he’s been caught with his hand in a cookie jar. “Uh…Pepper, but only because I told her why I wanted it.” 

Steve takes the food. “It better be a damn good reason because you aren’t welcome anywhere near me.”

Barnes takes a deep breath, looking down at the stoop, and nods. “Yeah, that’s fair.” He looks back up and he’s got this strange, hurt look. “Listen, I just came to say thank you for sending Natasha. Becca is loving it and Nat says she’s doing really well. It’s just…I shouldn’t have left her alone to get the ice cream and if I’d been doing a better job as her guardian, it wouldn’t have. So…yeah…thanks.”

Barnes turns to leave and Steve mumbles a gritty, ‘fuck’ and stops him. “Wait.” Barnes turns and Steve rolls his eyes. “Why don’t you come in for a beer.” 

And the hurt look is replaced by something that looks like caution. “You sure because I can just go and…”

“Jesus Barnes, just get your ass in here, but mark my words, you try anything and I’ll have you out cold…” He doesn’t finish because Barnes is nodding like an excited kid.

Steve takes the food to the kitchen and grabs two beers from the fridge and goes back to the living room where Barnes seems to be looking at the journal, but not making a move to go investigate what it is. At least he seems to understand some societal etiquette. Steve hands the beer over. “Thanks.” Barnes looks back at the food still in the bag on the counter. “You should eat. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Steve goes back to the kitchen because he really is hungry. “I’d offer some, but I only got enough for me.” Plus Steve doesn’t want to share a meal with this guy, he just wants to hear about Becca.

“No, no, I already ate with Becca before Natasha got to the house.” They sit in uncomfortable silence while Steve eats some of the food. 

“Is Becca okay? Sometimes those kinds of things can…well…they can stick around awhile.” Barnes looks over at him like he’s trying to figure something out and it makes Steve even more uncomfortable.

“She’s good, but hasn’t really wanted to go out alone just yet. I’ve been making sure she gets to campus okay every day, so I’ve been late to work the last two days.” Barnes turns, facing Steve. “Where did you learn to fight like that?”

Steve takes another couple of bites before he tries to answer. “My Ma put me in self defense classes early on, but…” The hesitation makes Bucky uneasy. “Listen, let’s just say that Nat really taught me what I needed to know.” Steve looks off then takes a long shaky breath.

That’s what Bucky needed to know. There _is_ something that happened that Steve won’t tell him because they aren’t friends, but he bets that Natasha knows. However, Natasha probably won’t share it with him because she knows how contentious the relationship is between Bucky and Steve. Standing, Steve stiffens and that nearly breaks Bucky’s heart. This man isn’t going to trust him any time soon. “I’d better go.” He heads to the door and Steve follows him to lock it. “I guess I’ll see you the day after Christmas for the retreat. Have a good holiday, Steve.” Bucky hears a mumbled, ‘you too’ as the door closes and the lock clicks into place.

Steve goes back to his dinner, but can’t relax. He finishes eating, turning off the lights and going upstairs to bed. Unfortunately, that night he has the nightmares again. It hasn’t happened in a long time and always, always makes him feel off center. The next few days he makes sure that everything he ordered as gifts gets delivered to the right people. He sends Darcy a weekend getaway to a B&B in Maine and Christmas Eve afternoon he gets a phone call that is nothing but squealing. Darcy works her ass off for Steve and she deserves something special every year. 

Christmas Eve is silent in his home and there aren’t any decorations because he doesn’t do that anymore since his Ma died. But early that evening something completely unexpected happens. He ordered food for that night and the next day, so the doorbell isn’t a surprise. What is a surprise is when he opens the door, there’s a man with an electronic clipboard standing at his door. He looks up, smiling at Steve. “Hey, you Steve Rogers?”

Steve looks at the moving van in the street confused. “Uh…yeah…what the hell is all this?”

“Man, I just deliver the stuff. I don’t ask questions.” He hands Steve the clipboard. “Now, I need your permission for me and the crew to come in. All of us are betas and all of us are mated, so there’s no threat.”

Steve stops signing to look up at the man. “I appreciate your care and attention. I guess you should bring in whatever it is.” 

The man steps in looking around the living room. “You mind if we move that chair by the back window?”

Steve looks at him confused again. “No?”

The man smiles. “You really have no idea what’s happening, do you?”

“I have no idea what the hell this is all about.” Steve hands the clipboard back.

“Then stand aside and let us make your day.” For the next three hours, the men come in and out, then three women come in, dressed in the same coveralls as the men and start setting everything up. His food arrives sometime in there and he puts it all away in the kitchen for later. By the time they’re done, Steve’s living room looks like a Christmas wonderland. Right down to the gifts under the tree.

The lights, the tree, the gifts make Steve’s eyes misty. He’d forgotten how much he enjoyed all of this since he hasn’t done anything for the holidays in five years. He thanks each one of them personally and looks back at the tree. “I don’t suppose you can tell me who did this, can you?”

The man smiles. “We weren’t told. This came down from the big boss.” Steve shakes his hand and locks the door.

Going back into the living room he looks around. It’s dark out already and the only lights are from the tree and what’s draped around the mantle and up the stairs. Grabbing his phone, he texts Pepper because she’s the only one that might have done this. Taking a picture he sends it to her and he gets a wide eyed emoji back with a message _‘that was not me, but whoever it was, DAMN!’_ He texts Darcy next because she knows everything or at the very least gives him good advice on things. He sends her the same picture and he gets back a laughing emoji and the message _‘seems like that alpha isn’t giving up.’_

Steve sits down next to the tree and really thinks about those words. “Holy shit.” Now Steve is unsure what to do because if he keeps everything, including the gifts, he’s sending a message, but there’s also not a way to return anything. “What the fuck?” 

Going to bed that night, Steve is still at a loss as to what to do, so he decides he’ll sleep on it. He has the nightmare again that night. Waking just after 3 in a cold sweat, he gets up and goes downstairs. Starting a fire, he turns the tree lights on, he sits under the tree, looking at the ornaments, then the gifts. Taking a shaky breath, he picks one up and opens it. Inside is a pale blue scarf of the softest material he’s ever felt. Wrapping it around his neck, he picks up another present. It’s a pair of cufflinks with an artist’s pallet on one and paint brushes on the other. He giggles to himself and picks up the next one. It’s a peacoat in navy. Each one is something that Steve loves and he starts to really think about this situation.

Whoever the alpha is, he hasn’t made his identity known, he hasn’t pushed himself into Steve’s life. He’s just sending gifts. Looking over at the sketch journal, Steve smiles softly. He runs through a list of alphas that he knows or has met in the last few weeks, but none of them fit all of this. Either they have the money for this, but are mated, or they don’t have the money for this. He finds himself curious about something he’s never been curious about before. What would it be like to have an alpha in his life? One that knows him well enough to do this. One that likes him enough as a person to do this. One that doesn’t push themselves into his life like they own him.

The last gift he picks up is small and Steve is almost afraid to open it and when he does, he drops it on the floor and gets up to walk away from it. Typically, a gift like this is given to people who know each other and Steve has no idea who this person it. Also typically, the symbol stamped into the silver is of the opposite designation, so Steve being an omega would wear one stamped with the alpha symbol showing that he’s taken. This isn’t like that. This charm is stamped with an omega symbol and there’s a note. _‘Because you belong to no one, but yourself.’_

Steve goes and curls up in the armchair at the entrance of the living room. He wakes sometime later and the sun is out. Looking back at the gifts, he gets up to shower. He spends the day cooking and packing for the following day. Each time he passes the living room, he stares at the gifts, unsure what to do about them. That evening, he’s just about finished packing, but goes back downstairs and looks at the gifts again. Picking up the clothing, he heads back upstairs. There’s a fancy dinner one night, so he can wear the cufflinks, he’ll wear the scarf and coat tomorrow, the three pair of pajama pants will be for nighttime. 

The next morning, as he’s carrying his suitcase and hanging bag down, Happy knocks on the door. He hands everything off to his friend and looks back at the tree. Going over, he turns the lights off and picks up the necklace, putting it over his head, Steve heads out. Whoever this person is, they know he doesn’t want to get lost in designation. Steve’s never been ashamed of being an omega because his ma made him understand he is always more than that. This person also seems to understand Steve’s just as important as whoever he decides to be with.

The ride up is quiet and Steve works on one of his projects only talking on and off to Happy. When they arrive, Darcy is waiting at the main house. Steve makes sure the necklace is inside it shirt before leaving the car. Darcy hands over the itinerary and goes with Steve to get set up in his small cabin. She points out the alcohol, which Steve will definitely need and heads to her own cabin to change. After dropping everything off, he exits to head back to what Darcy called the meet and greet and Steve calls the ‘hell that is Tony Stark trying to make all of his employees get along.’ Halfway back to the main house, he hears someone behind him, looking over his shoulder he sees Barnes.

“Hey Steve.” Something in Barnes’s posture is unsettling, so Steve asks.

“Everything okay?” Barnes looks at the ground and shrugs. “Seriously, you don’t look well.”

“It’s nothing. I just didn’t want to leave Becca.” Steve hums and slows down to walk with Barnes.

“Where is she while you’re gone?” Steve really does care about her and hopes she isn’t alone.

Barnes sighs. “I have a friend Sam and his husband Riley. Natasha is going to continue their lessons over there while I’m here.” He shoves his hands into his pockets. “That’s a nice coat.”

Steve looks down at the blue peacoat. “Oh thanks. Did you get anything good for Christmas?” Steve really has no idea what to talk about with this guy.

“Becca gave me these.” He stops, lifting his pant leg. Steve bursts with laughter at the unicorn socks farting rainbows. “Yeah, laugh it up because I have a present in my cabin from her to you. You’ll probably get something just as insane.”

Steve stops, choking up at that. Barnes stops too and looks back at him. “Your sister got me something for Christmas?”

“Well yeah, you’re kind of her hero.” Steve doesn’t move, just stares at Barnes. “I hate to tell you this because of how much you hate me, but she’s attached to you now.”

They don’t talk the rest of the way and once inside there isn’t time. Sparkling wine and finger foods make their way around and Steve can’t help but watch Barnes make his rounds. What Steve expects and what actually happens are two very different things. Usually during these types of things, Barnes zeros in on one maybe two betas or omegas and spends the night coaxing them into bed, but tonight he seems uninterested in the ones that approach him. Instead, he talks with Darcy, but not in a flirty way, but really seems interested in what she’s saying, then he moves on to Pepper and Tony. As the night winds down another omega approaches him and really puts her all into the seduction. 

Barnes very successfully extricates himself from the situation and heads over to grab some snacks. As he puts the crab puff into his mouth, he looks over at Steve. That’s when Steve realizes that he’s been watching Barnes all night. And with that thought, he heads for the door. He’s got to get out of here and figure out why this guy, that he hates, is filling his head right now. Safely back in his cabin, he turns the lights off so if anyone comes by, they will think he’s asleep.

The nightmare happens again and Steve twists himself in the sheets, kicking and screaming. At the apex of the nightmare, he hears a voice calling him. It’s soft and soothing. Suddenly, the nightmare fades and Steve listens to the voice. _‘I don’t want to come too close, but I want you to know that someone is here. Nothing can hurt you. It’s just a dream and isn’t real. I’m here and nothing can hurt you.’_

Steve bolts straight up in bed and sees a figure in the doorway of the cabin’s bedroom. “Who are you? What are you doing here?”

The figure steps into the room and Steve stands up next to the bed in a fighting stance. Light from the outside illuminates the intruder’s face and it’s Barnes. “Hey, it’s just me. I heard you screaming from next door. What had you so scared, Steve?”

The nightmare comes back in full force and Steve crumbles, shoulders slump and sobs tear from his chest. Bucky’s there in a second, arms wrapped tightly around Steve. It only lasts a few minutes and Steve pulls away. “I guess I’m just what you thought, some weak omega that can’t handle anything.”

Barnes reaches out, cupping Steve’s face like he’s delicate. “I’d never think that about you. Not anymore. Everyone has nightmares.”

Steve wrenches away, huffing and turning to face the window. “Yeah, what would you know about nightmares.” It’s not really a question.

“Being abandoned is mine.” Steve turns back, looking disbelieving at Barnes. “My dad, left when I was 13 because my mom was not a very kind alpha. He promised to come back for us, but she beat him in court. I never saw him again. After that I tried to be the kind of alpha my mom would be proud of, but she had such contempt for omegas, then my sister presented as one and it all went to hell.” Bucky turns away now. “So yeah, I have nightmares about that night.”

“Barnes?” Steve takes a step towards the man and puts a hand on Barnes’s back. “I’m sorry. I guess I don’t think about alphas like you having anything that scares them.”

“Can you call me Bucky? I hate that I’m always Barnes to you.” He turns back, catching Steve’s hand before he can pull too far away. That’s when the light from outside catches the necklace around Steve’s neck. Still holding Steve’s hand, he looks back up into the blond’s eyes. “You’re wearing it. I didn’t think you would.”

It’s just a whisper of a thing, but in the silence of the room, Steve can’t help but hear him. “You?” Bucky starts to pull away, sure that there’s about to be a rejection. “That’s why you didn’t come on to anyone at the party.”

Steve looks down at the floor putting two and two together. “I was sure you’d throw out everything I sent to your office that day, but you kept the journal.” And in a move that is so far from the alpha that Steve believed this man to be, Bucky gets on his knees in the darkened room, looking up at Steve. “Please, please let me court you. Please Steve.”

“You sent me Christmas. I haven’t had Christmas in five years.” Again, it’s said more of a mumble than clear words.

“I came to your house that night to thank you for Becca and you had nothing. I couldn’t let you have nothing.” Bucky face is pleading and for the first time, ever, Steve wants to allow this to happen, but he’s still so cautious because this guy has been an ass. It could be a ploy and nothing more.

“Okay, but understand if this is a game and you really are _that_ alpha, I will kick your ass and burn everything you gave me.” Bucky beams up at him. “And I’ll probably burn you too if I’m being honest.”

Bucky stands, cupping Steve’s cheek. “I’m asking permission. Can I scent you?”

Steve swallows roughly, staring into Bucky’s eyes and gives a small nod. Bucky leans in, pressing his nose into Steve’s neck, inhaling the sweetest scent he’s ever smelled. Pulling back, he offers his neck to Steve. With more than a little trepidation, Steve scents an alpha for the first time in his life. With his nose buried in Bucky’s neck, he feels his knees wobble. “Jesus…you smell amazing.”

The next day, Bucky gives Steve the gift from Becca and it is a pair of socks, but these have ninja kittens on them and Steve cracks up at them. He immediately puts them on and wears them all day and even to bed that night. They sit in Steve’s cabin, sipping on wine that Tony stocked in each one, munching on chips. Steve watches the way Bucky moves and for the first time really watches him. He’s fluid in his movements, not aggressive. They had been playing a card game earlier and Bucky kept running his fingers through his hair. Now it’s sticking up in every direction. It makes Steve giggle and Bucky turns with a sappy smile. “What?”

Steve jumps up and goes to Bucky, trying to flatten his hair down. It doesn’t work and that makes Steve giggle more. “Sorry man, but your hair has gone crazy.” He starts back over to the chair, but Bucky grabs his hand. Turning back, Bucky’s brow is furrowed and Steve has the desire to caress it away. “What?”

“Can I hug you?” Steve steps into Bucky’s space and strong arms wrap around him. Steve stiffens for just a second then relaxes into the embrace. “Steve?” The smaller man hums. “What happened to you?”

This was bound to come up at some point, but Steve hoped that he would have more time to figure out how to put it out there. Taking a deep breath, he steps away and goes to the other side of the living room. He doesn’t turn back to Bucky because he can’t. Staring out the window, he tries several times to get the words out. Finally, he wraps his arms around his middle, protecting himself and starts. “When I presented at 13, my Ma was really protective of me. Because I was small, I would be a target for bullies. She put me in defense classes, but they weren’t very…thorough. When I was 16, I was coming out of class and dragged into an alley. There were four of them.” He turns back to Bucky and can see the rage on the alpha’s face. “They were stopped before anything _really_ bad could happened, but it was enough to create some scars.”

Steve can see that Bucky is fighting the urge to come over and hold him and he really appreciates that he’s giving Steve space. Bucky looks up at the ceiling and takes a deep cleansing breath. “I want to kill them.”

“Well, I don’t even know who they were, so that’s not going to happen.” He goes back to the sofa and picks up his wine. “Sometimes the nightmares come back, but mostly I don’t have to worry about it.”

Bucky comes over, sitting at the other end of the sofa. “What can I do to help?”

“Nothing.” Bucky doesn’t seem satisfied with that answer. “You can’t fix it. You just have to understand that it’s part of who I am.” They talk for a little while longer then Bucky gets up to leave. He squeezes Steve’s hand at the door, but doesn’t try anything else. The rest of the retreat goes about the same. During the day they don’t talk, but in the evenings they spend time together, talking and learning about each other. By the time they head home, Steve’s pretty sure he really likes Bucky.

The big test comes when Bucky invites Steve over for dinner with Becca. She’s beyond thrilled that this is all happening and insists on sitting with Steve while Bucky fixes dinner. “You know…I could use some help in here!” 

Becca snickers. “You don’t need any help any other night. You just don’t want me telling Steve any embarrassing stories!”

“Don’t you dare you little heathen!”

All he can hear is Becca raising her voice and saying, “There was this one time…”

Bucky comes careening around the corner with a spoon in his hand. “I will bring out the baby pictures of you if you don’t stop!”

Becca just giggles and leans into Steve. “I’ll tell you later.” Bucky huffs and goes back into the kitchen, but Steve doesn’t miss the smile on his face. “He’s trying to impress you.”

Steve doesn’t mean to say it, but it slips out. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

She reaches over, taking his hand. “NO! That isn’t what I mean. I mean he wants you to like him so much. Like he’s stressed out about it.” Steve looks confused. “He’s losing sleep because he’s afraid you’ll change your mind. Hell Steve, he’s started talking to our Dad every day so he doesn’t screw this up.” Bucky losing sleep and being scared that Steve will rethink their…relationship. Bucky letting go of his anger and talking to his dad, so he can be better for Steve. Jesus, he and Bucky are in a relationship. He’s offered courting gifts and Steve has accepted them. They’re in a relationship. Steve has to process that for a few minutes.

Steve gets up, going to the kitchen. Becca watches over the back of the sofa as Steve takes Bucky’s arm, turning him to face the smaller man. “Is all this for real?”

Bucky nods emphatically. “Yes, very much so.” Steve moves closer, standing on his tiptoes and kisses Bucky. The spoon gets dropped to the floor as Bucky cups Steve’s face, whispering his name into the next kiss. Lifting his head, Bucky grins at Steve. “Wow.”

Steve starts back into the living room. “Don’t fuck with me though Barnes because I _can_ kick your ass and now I know where you live.”

Becca cackles at that, and gets a wink from Steve. Bucky stands in the kitchen, dumbstruck. “Yes sir.”

_Six Months Later_

Steve isn’t awful at presentations, but he does usually have someone on his team do them. But as will happen, the person that was supposed to make this presentation got a summer cold and is at home in bed. Steve stands in front of the all the really important people at Stark Industries, including Tony and Pepper, along with the new Chair of Research and Development, James Barnes, who is grinning behind his coffee cup.

Bucky doesn’t need to listen because he’s been over and over this presentation with Steve over the last few weeks. Steve’s really very good at presentations, but he’s always afraid that someone will ask a crazy question that he doesn’t have an answer too. He makes it through the presentation and then looks over at Bucky with a smirk. Bucky sits up in his seat because their situation, their relationship, has been very carefully guarded. No one outside of Becca and Natasha even know they’ve entered this arrangement. So the smirk doesn’t go unnoticed by Tony or Pepper, but it does confuse them.

“I’d like to thank the R&D Department for the clarification on some of the terminology and I’d especially like to thank my boyfriend for his patience when explaining how this new prosthetic will work.” Steve winks at him and Bucky is very aware of everyone’s eyes on him. “Thanks Buck.”

It’s completely silent for about fifteen seconds, then Tony explodes. “WHAT THE HELL! But you two hate each other!”

Bucky looks over at Tony. “Yeah, about that…”

Steve saunters out of the conference room and leaves Bucky to fend for himself. A few minutes later, Steve’s office door slams open and Bucky barges in. Darcy, who is trying to stop him, is followed by Tony, Pepper, and Happy. “That was a cheap shot, Rogers! You’re an asshole!”

Steve turns, leaning on the edge of his desk, arms folded over his chest. “Yes, I’ve been accused of that before, but you’ll forgive me.”

Bucky towers over him, glaring. “Oh yeah, and why exactly would I forgive you?”

Steve reaches up, cupping Bucky’s cheek gently causing the alpha to close his eyes and just feel the warmth of Steve. “Because I love you.”

Bucky’s eyes fly open and get misty. They haven’t said that to each other before. Bucky’s wanted to, but hasn’t wanted to push Steve. “You…you…” Swallowing hard, he sniffles with a self-depreciating laugh. “you love me, Stevie?”

“Yeah, Buck, I do. I love you.” Bucky loosens Steve’s tie and collar, trying to get to the necklace. “Hey…whoa…what are you…”

Bucky works the necklace out from under Steve’s shirt, easing it over Steve’s head, then slipping it around his own neck. “I love you too.” Leaning in, his kisses Steve tenderly. “I’m taken.”

_Six Months After That_

Steve insisted that Tony put him and Bucky in the same cabin this year, so they were upgraded to one of the medium sized cabins on the property. They didn’t tell anyone, but this morning, in Steve’s living room, Sam officiated a small wedding with just family and Sam and Riley. Steve’s come to love George and Charlie like parents and little Will is the cutest kid that Steve’s ever seen. At five he’s confident and kind, so Steve is sure that no matter how he presents, he’s going to be a good person.

Steve honestly never believed that he’d want to get married, but a year of watching Bucky grow into who he was meant to be and not what was expected has been a joint journey. He still slips up, now and then, they both do, but you can’t undo things overnight. So, tonight is their wedding night and Steve’s a little more than nervous. He’s 31 and never done this with anyone before, not that he’s shared that with Bucky. He knows that he should have, but it just never seemed the right time. So, as they return to the cabin after the meet and greet, Bucky sweeps Steve into his arms and carries him across the threshold.

Steve fusses all the way into the bedroom. “I know you can walk on your own, but you gotta give me something of tradition.”

And Steve decides to use that as an opening. “Speaking of traditions…” Steve looks up at Bucky through his long lashes. “Uh…there’s something that hasn’t come up before.”

Bucky gets worried and kneels next to the bed, searching Steve’s blushing face for an explanation. “What is it? If you don’t wanna…”

“No! No, I do, I just think it’s only fair that you know…well, it’s just that...” Steve blows out a breath and just plows forward. “I’ve never done this before, Bucky.” Steve stares at the floor.

“Okay, but…Steve, what about…” Steve’s hand flies up to cover Bucky’s mouth.

“I don’t want to talk about that on our wedding night. They didn’t get to that part before they were stopped and that’s the last time we’re going to bring that up.” Bucky nods behind Steve’s hand. “So, I’ve never done this.”

Taking Steve’s hand from his mouth, Bucky kisses the palm. “Then we do this how and when you’re ready.”

“Well, that’s the thing, Buck, I wanna do it now and I wanna see your face.” Bucky stands up, undressing and throwing clothes in every direction. “Okay then.” Steve stands and does the same, chuckling at his new husband.

“Jesus…you are beautiful.” Bucky looks up at the ceiling and closes his eyes. “I’m sorry, I know you hate that. I’m not objectifying you, I’m just…”

Steve giggles and leans his body into Bucky’s. “I think I can let you get away with that when we’re about to do this.” Bucky looks down at his husband and wraps his arms around him. Steve quirks an eyebrow in challenge. “I mean, you’re really pretty, you know.”

“You think I’m pretty, Stevie?” Steve leans in and kisses Bucky’s chest.

“I think you’re a knockout, sweetheart.”

_One Year Later_

Steve sent Bucky ahead to the retreat and is going to drive himself up later. He’s been keeping this under wraps because he just didn’t know how to tell his husband that something is very wrong. His Ma died six years ago from cancer and he remembers watching her go through this same kind of thing. What’s really scary is by the time she couldn’t keep anything down, she was pretty advanced. That means that Steve is probably in the advanced stages and has just been ignoring the symptoms. Sitting on the exam table, he looks around at the charts and things on the walls.

Dr. Erskine comes into the room and looks at Steve over his glasses. “Doc, how far along am I?”

Abram smirks at the young man on the table because he knows what Steve thinks it is, but also just how wrong the man is. “Well, Steven, further along than I thought.”

Steve starts to tear up and thinks about how devastated Bucky is going to be. “How long do I have?” He’s got to be brave because that’s what Bucky’s going to need.

“Well, by my calculations, you have about six months.” Dr. Erskine is just playing with him now.

Steve takes a deep breath, licking his lips and nodding. “Okay…six months…okay…not as long as I hoped, but…okay…”

Dr. Erskine starts laughing. Steve’s eyes fly up because this man has never been cruel. Pulling a handkerchief out of his pocket, Abram wipe his eyes. “Oh Steven, you aren’t dying, you’re pregnant!”

Steve’s mouth opens and closes like a fish several times. “I’m…wait…I’m…you sure?”

“Yes, I’m very sure. Now lie back and let’s have a look.” Steve leaves the office with an ultrasound image in his hand and a video on his phone. He’s already 13 weeks and doesn’t know how he didn’t know. It just never occurred to him that this could happen. According to Dr. Erskine, sometimes birth control doesn’t work. All the way to the retreat, Steve thinks about what this means. He’s pregnant, like he’s with child…he’s going to be a dad…Bucky’s going to be a dad.

“Holy Shit! I’m going to be a dad.” He pulls into the cabins and turns the car off. Getting his phone back out, he watches the video again. “Holy shit…I’m going to be a dad.”

Pocketing his phone he goes in to find out what cabin Bucky’s in and finds Darcy waiting. “Well, boss, I have your cabin assignment and your husband just left with more alcohol than one person can really carry. You might be able to follow by the trail of broken bottles.”

“I’ll go find him. I’m going to come back for my bag.” She nods and heads off to her own cabin. Steve stops by the bar and asks for a bottle of sparkling juice and two flutes. Heading down the path he finds Bucky on his phone outside the cabin.

“No Dad, I don’t know what’s going on. He went to the doctor this morning and is supposed to be here later.” He pauses as George talks and Steve just stands on the path watching and listening. “No, what has me worried is this was Sarah’s doctor.” Another pause. “Yeah, her oncologist. Dad, I can’t lose him. I don’t think I could survive.”

Steve can’t stand how much pain Bucky sounds like he’s in. Walking over, he puts the juice and the flutes on the ground and pulls his phone out. Bringing up the video he goes over, tapping Bucky’s shoulder. The alpha spins around and there are tears in his eyes. Holding up the phone, Steve presses play. At first Bucky doesn’t understand what he’s seeing or hearing, but when it clicks, he stares wide-eyed at Steve. Steve can hear George calling Bucky’s name. Taking the phone, he talks to his father-in-law. “George, can we call you back in just a little bit? We need to talk about something.” He gets an affirmative and hangs up the call. “You going to say anything?”

Bucky looks up after having hit play again to watch the video. “Is this…are you…”

Steve cups his husband’s face and kisses him gently. “Yeah, I’m pregnant. I don’t have cancer, I have morning sickness and pregnancy exhaustion.”

Bucky clutches Steve tight to his chest, hugging the stuffing out of him. Then he freezes, pulling back with hands on Steve’s biceps. “Do you want this?”

Steve tilts his head to the side and realizes that Bucky is making sure that this isn’t something Steve is being forced to do. “Yeah Buck, I want this.” Steve places his hands on his abdomen. “We made this. This is you and me.” The fact that Bucky didn’t just automatically decide that they were doing this says a lot about how his thinking has changed. “I love you and I love this little peanut.”

And Bucky can’t contain it anymore and picks Steve up and starts swinging him around. “I love you, I love you, I love you, my sweet, beautiful omega.”

Bucky puts him down and Steve glares at him. “That’s the only one of those you get. I have a name, but considering the circumstances, I’ll let you have that one.”

Bucky grins, knowing that Steve’s not really mad. “Fair enough.”


End file.
